Pros and Cons #2

In a bold move that might be confused with indecisiveness, Blank the Messenger has decided to abandon the cause of finding the greatest creation of all time. This isn’t quitting though. I’m just making the quest to find the greatest creation ever better by completely abandoning it.

However, the feature won’t be lost and forgotten. It will be renamed Pros and Cons and provide exactly the same information it did before, minus the inclusion of the creator for each thing. This is better because a.) I never intended to finish it, and b.) it will

I am now also tired of making a list of why my decision to not pursue the quest to find the greatest creation ever is best. I’m making that list better by abandoning it also.

So, without further ado, here is Pros and Cons #2.

Blood Plasma

Pros: Helps you live; Can be used to create life-saving medicine; Kind of looks like beef broth; Can totally be sold for money

Cons: Does not taste like beef broth; People willing to buy plasma are frugal; Has nothing to do with watching high-definition television

Facebook

Pros: Easy and convenient way of social networking; You wouldn’t keep in touch with any of your old friends without it; Those crazy, crazy text games

Cons: Your parents now use it; Another way for friends to try and get you to read boring surveys about themselves; Number of Facebook friends give you a false sense of popularity that will never be able to fill the void in your life that was left by your social awkwardness

Owning a Dog

Pros: Best friend for life; Unlike children, you can name a dog pretty much anything you want without fear of shunning; You don’t have to stand up and walk to get your slippers anymore

Cons: Face it—it’s going to try and eat everything you own; The only new toy in your life that, when you get bored of it, you can’t throw away without fear of prosecution; Pees and craps all over the place; no matter how many times you call it your baby, it’s not really your baby.

Coffee

Pros: Keeps you awake; The best part of waking up (note: dependent on brand you choose); Impossible to live life without; Is basically a legal drug

Cons: When drinking too much, side effects are sort of gross; Can’t drink the good stuff without looking like an elitist; Get the shakes when you haven’t had any for a day

Incense

Pros: Makes your place smell good; Wide variety of scents; Cheap; No one will be able to know for sure if you smoke pot

Cons: Okay, be serious, everyone knows you smoke pot now; You look like a hippy; No variety of scent can mask its true smell: vintage store

Coming up: War Wars, A Great Idea, Dolly Oxem, and State Face Face-Off. I'm getting that heartburn feeling again!