Today in Fashion

Say goodbye to the days when you could read a headline on CNN and not turn it into a t-shirt.

That's right. CNN has recently (or maybe they did this a long time ago... I really don't know) launched their very own t-shirt generator, where you can turn any of their headlines into your very own shirt.

This actually makes some type of lame business sense for headlines like "Obama to be first African-American president." However, CNN includes a ton of other headlines that have no real business being on a t-shirt.

For instance, you could be the proud wearer of "iReporters worldwide watching election," "Nudists want to vote in buff," or "Palin 'sorry' if she cost McCain votes."

All these t-shirts that are stupid enough to make fun of, but too lame to actually wear, even for ironic purposes.

But there is one category of headlines that is an exception to the rule (at least out of the bunch available in the archives as of this typing). Among slogans like "Rare baby pygmy hippo is size of puppy" sits this gem: "Woman, 75, shoots intruder in crotch."

It is, really, the perfect gag t-shirt. No one should quite be able to "get it," but when you walk down the street with a shirt that proudly declares "Rabid fox attacks jogger, clings to arm," someone is bound to ask what it's supposed to mean. And then you can look at them like they're stupid, point to the spot under the headline that reads, "I just saw it on CNN.com," and say, "It's the news." For effect, you could even shake your head, as if disgusted and confused at this person's small, small brain.

What makes these headlines work is the sense of unimportant action in them. Something extraordinarily insignificant that still sounds kind of cool has happened. And you're letting everyone know.

Hey, everyone! Hurt climber drank urine, ate bugs to live! Did you hear? Hurt climber drank urine, ate bugs to live! I read it on CNN.com! And here's when I read! Hey, everyone! Hurt climber drank urine, ate bugs to live!

Unfortunately, if you take a look at the most popular shirts ordered, the only attempt at humor is "1 in 3 workers hung over at the office."

Yawn. Way to go, CNN.com readers. It's bad enough Hurt Climber had to drink his own urine and eat bugs to live, but now it's unlikely that anyone outside of the CNN.com readership will ever know about his heroic story.

You give a bunch of people a chance to make a difference, and they buy a bunch of "Obama's President" shirts.